Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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