Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
