That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
