So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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