I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
