just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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