just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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