Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
