I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
