check it out our google latitudes are spooning
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
