somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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