There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
In America we eat man semen.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
