is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
