Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
