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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My cat gives me a boner
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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