I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
