dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
