i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
