we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
