I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
