Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im part way to drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
