He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
