I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
