Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
