She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
