Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
