I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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