Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
