He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
