we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
