So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize