who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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