Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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