We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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