Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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