I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
