dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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