im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize