no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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