how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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