girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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