'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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