Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
