With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
