I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
