you traded sex for a burrito?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
