College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
