Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
