So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
