I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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