My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
