she woke up with a sticky ear
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
