Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
