Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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