Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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