Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
