idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
