dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
