My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
