Where are you?
In a non slutty way
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
