You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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