don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just invented taco cereal.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
