I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It was confusing and full of hummus
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
