i think my tv is drunk
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize