So gin and wine won't be happening again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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