I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
