You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
