just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
