there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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