I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
