omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
