your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
