My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just pee around me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
