if you like me you must not know who I am
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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