She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
