Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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