Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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